Gallows humor

In response to Mayor Mumbles' efforts to rid stores of protective grates because they cause crime(1), Fark.com commentators have had some more worthwhile suggestions.

(1): The mayor says the grates cause crime, not the stores or the criminals or the mayor

ElsiumNow offers a note tinged with perspective: "Well, now that they got rid of the payphones, there's no more crime right? This is the obvious next step."

Nothingyet sees larger problems afoot:

"It sends a message that this is not a place where you want to shop," Mayor Thomas M. Menino said. 'It's not inviting.""

- ST*U Mumbles, have you looked at the murder rate in our fair city this past year? IT'S NOT INVITING you retarded ****!

Dittybopper offers anidea inspired by history:

You want to revitalize blighted urban areas in Boston?

Flood'em with molasses.

/Hey, it worked before.

Dittybopper's idea is indeed drawn from an often-forgotten, surreal but deadly moment in Boston's history, the Great Molasses Flood of 1919. No, really. MeTheSheeples offers a potentially less deadly thing to parody: Let's declare war on the United States, then rake in the rebuilding money.

Still maybe we ought to look to the wisest perspective of ReverendJasen: "Sure, I'd remove my grates. As soon as the city signs a contract agreeing to pay for any damages or thefts that occur afterwards. Maybe they should work on the cause of the grates being up? You know, like maybe the crime?"